As a child, I believed in an ancient, omniscient, wise deity (Jewish) that had a striking resemblance to a bearded old man and was behind the grand design of everything in life!  Constellations in the night sky and the process of photosynthesis were my favorites. This force was anthropomorphic in that it had the authority and power to dispense good fortune, misfortune – all depending upon how I conducted myself on the earthly plane. There was definitely a hierarchy and I needed to feel both fear and awe in relationship to this deity! This belief morphed over the years.  Six plus decades later, where no one “is the boss of me”, I seemed to have outgrown some of the pediatric aspects of these beliefs. This hasn’t turned me into an atheist or agnostic. I know there’s something out there. I am left with a clear yearning for belief and faith in that something, but it cannot be anthropomorphic and I need to feel its relevance and meaning for my life. 

 

Recently, I was offered the opportunity to facilitate one of the Tacheria Alumni group sessions wherein I could bring this topic up for discussion.  We meet once a month on the first Saturday at St. Philips. These are some of my favorite people. Always questioning and reflecting! I decided to liven up the discussion by adding another dimension: the role of awe and wonder in the development of one’s faith. The topic was well received. Provocative enough to induce tears, lead to a discussion of how dualistic thinking can trap the mind, stir up beautiful metaphors about creation, and lead to stories of up close & personal heart stirring encounters with animals.

 

I shared with the group some writings of Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel, a renowned Jewish theologian and teacher. I like his phrase “radical amazement”. He equates this with a state of wonder and awe that he believes forms the foundation of faith in the Divine.  With paradoxical wit, Rabbi Heschel writes:

          The awareness of the Divine begins with wonder. The greatest

 Hindrance to such awareness is our adjustment to conventional notions, to mental clichés. Wonder or radical amazement, the state of maladjustment to words and notions, is therefore a prerequisite for an authentic awareness of that which is.”          

 He adds:

           Awe is more than an emotion; it is a way of understanding. Awe itself

           is an act of insight into a meaning greater than ourselves. It is a way       

           being in rapport with the mystery of all reality.

 

Rabbi Heschel also makes a distinction between fear and awe. We run from lightening, he says, because we are afraid and to linger, places us in serious danger. Awe makes us want to stick around and get closer. We become so riveted by what we see, that the urge for analysis/logic/explanations can wait. Here in Arizona we can feel such awe at the rim of the Grand Canyon or watching a monsoon barrel in off the mountains. We feel our smallness in the presence of such grandeur, vastness, and power.

 

In the Jewish tradition, there is a practice of cultivating awareness of nature’s bountiful phenomenon. There are numerous blessings one can recite on a daily basis that mark everyday experiences and observations. These blessings include everything from gratitude for awakening to another day, taking our first bite of food, having success with bodily functions, to witnessing a beautiful sunset/sunrise, rainbow and so on. We are not compelled to recite these blessings. They serve as opportunities to pause, appreciate, and give thanks to the source from which they flow.

 

In the book, Einstein’s God, by Walter Isaacson, the famous scientist was asked whether he had religious beliefs and he responded:

Yes, you can call it that. Try and penetrate without limited means the secrets of nature and you will find that, behind all the discernable laws and connections, there remains something subtle, intangible and inexplicable. Veneration for this force beyond anything that we can comprehend is my religion. To that extent I am, in fact, religious.

And the list goes on of renowned scientists with similar thinking. Max Plank, a contemporary of Einstein, who received the Nobel Peace Prize for his research on atoms, speaks of a force with a “conscious and intelligent mind” that is behind the regeneration of all matter.

 

Members of the group wanted to discuss how challenging it is to stay present - to take time to witness what is happening around and within us. After all, we are physically and mentally dependent on and bombarded with technology during all our waking hours! Everyday pressures and responsibilities cannot be sloughed off. More pernicious perhaps, is how we tend to identify ourselves with work, our roles, and productivity.  Ah – the relentless work of the ego! Time to reflect and cultivate awe is a luxury, perhaps postponed until a vacation to the Grand Canyon or when something is frighteningly beautiful.

 

Someone raised the notion that traditional religious leaders in the Judeo Christian faiths typically promulgate dualistic thinking – in contrast to more Eastern traditions of interconnection of all beings minus any belief in a deity. Why, he pondered, do we so readily accept the authority of such religious thinkers rather than trust our own direct experience of what is the Divine.  As another member said: “I feel I am just a part of the ‘soup’ of creation - part of its flow!”   

 

I had a “radical amazement” moment a few days ago while visiting the Japanese Gardens in Portland, Oregon. I was on a narrow stone path that encircled a pond, lush big leafed plantings along its perimeter. The sun was shining bright and warm. My eyes were drawn to a spot where the leaves looked moist with water droplets rapidly cascading off their dark green surface. I assumed there was a spring under the leaves causing this. Just beneath the leaves were dozens of water spiders skimming the ponds surface making endless ripples? As I moved closer, I realized that the angle of the sun’s rays on the pond’s surface at that very moment was reflecting the water’s ripples onto the surface of the leaves. This had created a rhythmic flow of light that indeed looked like flowing beads of water. I pointed this out to others nearby and we all stood together observing this optical illusion! The interconnection of light, water, and motion - a precious reminder of how elements in the natural world come together at any given moment to create what we see…or think we see.

 

Someone at this gathering asked: “Did the moment go away, or did I leave it?”  Wonderful question! Suspending logic or analysis in order to experience the state of awe – maybe that is the first step for this spiritual practice of cultivating faith in something called God, the Divine, Spirit.  We can analyze and ask questions later, after the moment has passed.  “I found a wild bunny and held it against my chest feeling its racing heartbeat,” another member reflected.  Later on the bunny died, but this man was glad he had taken the time to feel into those moments with that tiny being. It was a moment of wonder!

 

Written by Nan Rubin 8/1/09

I welcome your comments! You can contact me at: nrubinaz@comcast.net